Brenda

Hiring Administrative Staff in the Non-profit world was always tricky. There just wasn’t the money to attract or retain really good candidates so it was more than a little surprising when Brenda applied for the Administrative assistant position in the office of Social Services. In her interview, she was remarkably articulate, even erudite. I asked Brenda why she had applied for such a low-paying job in a sector with not much future. She assured me that the time had come in her life that she wanted her work to serve some good purpose, and she was grateful for the opportunity.

For a while, everything was perfect. Brenda’s intelligence and her extraordinary organizational abilities improved almost every aspect of our operation. About a month after Brenda began work at our agency I got a phone message from her that she would not be at work that day: “Evan, this is Brenda. I’m so sorry to tell you I cannot come to work today. I have had some distressing news in my personal life. I hope you will understand. (there was some silence, then) “I know you will Evan, I trust you. You are a good man, I can tell. Aren’t you Evan? Good? A man? Anyway, thank you for understanding, and I will see you tomorrow.”

It was a very strange message, but I gave it no further thought. Brenda came in the next day. and told me that her personal issues had worked out and that I should not worry that she would miss work again. I smiled and said: “No worries Brenda! I am delighted to have you back today.” I then turned to my paperwork. Brenda stood there for a while staring at me. I looked up and asked her if there was anything she needed, and she asked: “Are you sure you are glad to see me, Evan?” I looked up at her and said “Of course, Brenda! You are the best thing that has happened to this agency in Eons!” At that point, Brenda smiled and left my office.

A few weeks later I got a call from Brenda: “Evan, I need to talk to you. Can you see me?” “Of Course, Brenda” Just give me five minutes. I looked up. Brenda was at the door. She looked different. Her hair was loose. She had a low-cut top and a short skirt on. She was flushed when she walked in and said: “Evan, you have to protect me. It is your job!” She was staring at me with a firehose of sexual energy that was unlike anything I had ever experienced. She came around the desk and laced her fingers through mine and said “I need you, Evan. People who love me call me Shela, Evan.” I was bright red by this point and looked at her and asked “Brenda, what is going on with you? Do you need some help? Is there someone I can call?” At this point, Brenda broke down in tears and fled out of the office and the building. I tried to call her later, but there was no answer.

The following morning her keys and a letter were on my desk. She wrote: “Evan, thank you for this opportunity. I am leaving so that you don’t have to fire me. I have multiple personality disorders that I thought I could control, but cannot. Sheila is quite destructive and I don’t want to destroy you or the agency. You will never see me again.”

— DanielSouthGate