I’m looking to buy a car. Not just any car, but a car in which I can make my escape. This means that the vehicle must be able to break relatively free of the Earth’s gravitational field. I have contemplated this possibility for a long time, and I believe it’s do-able. Therefore, I need a sports-type car, one that can accelerate rapidly and reach a speed of at least 200 mph.
I do not care how old the car is, or what it looks like. These things are irrelevant. What I need is performance, and it doesn’t have to be repeatable, as I will only be using its capacity once. I will not go into my calculations, or describe the construction I am building to make this happen. Suffice to say, the plan will work with the right car.
What do I plan to do once out of the atmosphere and having minimized the Earth’s gravitational pull? I plan to transfer to the Jupiter shuttle. There is, in this millennium at least, an interstellar transportation “ship” operating between our Moon and Jupiter, set up by the Venusians. There are stops between, of course, and I’m meeting my cosmic friend Florian at one of those stops, on Mars’s moon Phobos. There we will form further plans.
This trip has been a dream of mine since I was a child. I had forgotten about it for years at a time, but due to certain impossible-to-countenance attitudes and events on Earth, I had begun to dream about space travel again. Because I now have more knowledge of the physics problems involved, I was able to solve these problems, and then finalize my plans.
I am not a wealthy person; true genius is not rewarded here. Therefore, I have little to offer in the way of money. I would consider allowing the donator of a car to accompany me, but I estimate that will be possible only if the person weighs under 100 pounds. Of course, I do not yet know the weight of the vehicle I will be using, so my estimate regarding the weight of a potential companion is just that: an estimate.
I would prefer to travel alone, but the only other thing I can offer for the right car is my meteorite collection. I happen to have acquired some valuable space minerals, including one of the 1969 Allende meteorites. That one has papers to prove its authenticity. I don’t like to let go of my collection, but it would just be dead weight on the trip (from which I do not expect to return).
Please contact me at the Craigslist number above if you think you have a sports car that can achieve lift-off. I’ll be the judge of that when I come to see the thing. I might as well mention that I currently do not have a car, so you will need to live near public transportation. I am very much looking forward to receiving offers!
— Macoff
I do not care how old the car is, or what it looks like. These things are irrelevant. What I need is performance, and it doesn’t have to be repeatable, as I will only be using its capacity once. I will not go into my calculations, or describe the construction I am building to make this happen. Suffice to say, the plan will work with the right car.
What do I plan to do once out of the atmosphere and having minimized the Earth’s gravitational pull? I plan to transfer to the Jupiter shuttle. There is, in this millennium at least, an interstellar transportation “ship” operating between our Moon and Jupiter, set up by the Venusians. There are stops between, of course, and I’m meeting my cosmic friend Florian at one of those stops, on Mars’s moon Phobos. There we will form further plans.
This trip has been a dream of mine since I was a child. I had forgotten about it for years at a time, but due to certain impossible-to-countenance attitudes and events on Earth, I had begun to dream about space travel again. Because I now have more knowledge of the physics problems involved, I was able to solve these problems, and then finalize my plans.
I am not a wealthy person; true genius is not rewarded here. Therefore, I have little to offer in the way of money. I would consider allowing the donator of a car to accompany me, but I estimate that will be possible only if the person weighs under 100 pounds. Of course, I do not yet know the weight of the vehicle I will be using, so my estimate regarding the weight of a potential companion is just that: an estimate.
I would prefer to travel alone, but the only other thing I can offer for the right car is my meteorite collection. I happen to have acquired some valuable space minerals, including one of the 1969 Allende meteorites. That one has papers to prove its authenticity. I don’t like to let go of my collection, but it would just be dead weight on the trip (from which I do not expect to return).
Please contact me at the Craigslist number above if you think you have a sports car that can achieve lift-off. I’ll be the judge of that when I come to see the thing. I might as well mention that I currently do not have a car, so you will need to live near public transportation. I am very much looking forward to receiving offers!
— Macoff
Usually I don’t even read anything remotely related to sci fi, but I’m glad I read your piece. Enjoyed the last paragraph particularly. Fun read!
ReplyDeleteThere's something about the Craigslist prompt that just sent everyone over the edge and I think it's mighty fine.
ReplyDeleteGenius na not be rewarded, but may i acknowledge brilluance. Great read. Thank you
ReplyDelete"due to certain impossible-to-countenance attitudes and events on Earth.." Amen, amen to the stars in our eyes. Another great read, Macoff. Thanks
ReplyDelete