“Movie star good looks, in depth understanding of the meaning of life, appreciation of the arts, competence with science, mathematics, astrophysics, and adeptness in circus performance.” – Gary
“Ken’s the name, Zen’s the game.” – Ken
“I’m intelligent enough that I qualified for MENSA and passed the Jeopardy test twice. Women who have dealt with me have called me sweet.” – Paul
“People have told me I look like Biden.” – Lance
“I love pets, I have indoor cats, and I love Jesus and I know where I’m going when I pass on.” – Mark
“I try not to be arrogant but I can still say I now how to tie my own shoes.” – Reggie
“Good conversationalist and can kill big bugs in your kitchen.” – Stefan
“I’m a touchy touchy guy. Stealing deep kisses to make sure my blood is circulating properly to my lower extremities, yes there too.” – Hook
“Can be articulated or dirt road dude.” – Joe
“Ready to meet a down to earth (420 friendly) woman.” – Frank
“Hi. My name is Jim. I am a Christian and I do fall short the same as anyone else. I love my mama, my family, the Lord God, and my country.” – Jim
“Tantric” – Dan
“I grew up an army brat. Then joined the navy submarine force so I talk truth, but honestly don’t want to hear the truth don’t ask the question. At the end of February, I went to get my toenails cut and they cut my legs off, so I’m trying to learn a new life.” – Geebo
“Liver.” – James
“A tall born again Christian.” – Nathan
“Divorced after 10 years for non-Biblical reasons.” – Bill
“I am passionate about my beliefs and my Santa persona.” - Jeff
“I am a very outgoing Dominant man. I live the daddy lifestyle when I can.” – Dan
“I’m a simple man who love black big-butt mature women.” - Charles
“I’m a health consultant at a health store and a vegan who eats almost all organic to avoid pesticide residue and GMOs. Would love to meet a woman serious about her diet.” – Mike
“I am a serious guy with the patients of a Hawk.” – Dan
“I am disabled vet. I have my own house. I like to wear blue jeans all the time.” – Steven
“My favorite leisure time activities are reading, charity, apharesis (sic), cooking.” – Phil
“I taught myself how to get around the cable company. They charge too much. My next thing will be free internet. Then tell people how I did it.” – Jerry
“I have family/faith related tattoos. Therefore, I enjoy reading articles about tattoos and designing tattoos that I would one day like to get.” – Randy
“I don not like liars, drunks, and hos.” - Thomas
“I would never part with my bible, few other books, fire starter, knife, rod and reel, good boots, and a real good set of camo gear.” – Luther
“I enjoy playing with my black and white toy poodle – Gidget.” - Curtis
“I wish to be a genie.” – Allen
“My ideal Saturday night. You come over. We give each other head till you scream.” – Guy
“I feel most at home tied up and blindfolded.’ – Michael
“I do not like witchcraft, liver, clams. I would not eat a catfish, except to avoid starvation.” – Dave
“I am looking for someone honets (sic).” – Jimmy
“I’m passionate about chickens. Chickens are beautiful, majestic creatures.” – Walter
“I laugh listening to my dog Bebe talk to me. He real funny.” - Robert
“I get up early have me devotions and check FB and checkout the world with emphasis on volcanic eruptions, tidal waves, and earthquakes. After that I prepare breakfast.” – Darrel
“I pride myself on being the best smelling guy in the room at all times.” - Stanley
“I enjoy waking up and having coffee on the miranda.” – Roger
“I don’t like beef liver, no matter how many onions are covering it. I do not like TV ads with fine print disclosure at the bottom which disappear before you have time to read them. Oh yeah, I pretty much hate licorice, too.” – Barry
“I used to like wine with the evening, but my son recently found Jesus and made me promise not to drink. I don’t care if my new partner or dog drinks heavily.” - Edward
“No B.S. Not looking for life partner, love of my life, hookup sex, relation, nothing interment to be honest I am married love my wife. I am looking for someone who likes to ride bikes.” – Wild Bill
— opelikakat
“Ken’s the name, Zen’s the game.” – Ken
“I’m intelligent enough that I qualified for MENSA and passed the Jeopardy test twice. Women who have dealt with me have called me sweet.” – Paul
“People have told me I look like Biden.” – Lance
“I love pets, I have indoor cats, and I love Jesus and I know where I’m going when I pass on.” – Mark
“I try not to be arrogant but I can still say I now how to tie my own shoes.” – Reggie
“Good conversationalist and can kill big bugs in your kitchen.” – Stefan
“I’m a touchy touchy guy. Stealing deep kisses to make sure my blood is circulating properly to my lower extremities, yes there too.” – Hook
“Can be articulated or dirt road dude.” – Joe
“Ready to meet a down to earth (420 friendly) woman.” – Frank
“Hi. My name is Jim. I am a Christian and I do fall short the same as anyone else. I love my mama, my family, the Lord God, and my country.” – Jim
“Tantric” – Dan
“I grew up an army brat. Then joined the navy submarine force so I talk truth, but honestly don’t want to hear the truth don’t ask the question. At the end of February, I went to get my toenails cut and they cut my legs off, so I’m trying to learn a new life.” – Geebo
“Liver.” – James
“A tall born again Christian.” – Nathan
“Divorced after 10 years for non-Biblical reasons.” – Bill
“I am passionate about my beliefs and my Santa persona.” - Jeff
“I am a very outgoing Dominant man. I live the daddy lifestyle when I can.” – Dan
“I’m a simple man who love black big-butt mature women.” - Charles
“I’m a health consultant at a health store and a vegan who eats almost all organic to avoid pesticide residue and GMOs. Would love to meet a woman serious about her diet.” – Mike
“I am a serious guy with the patients of a Hawk.” – Dan
“I am disabled vet. I have my own house. I like to wear blue jeans all the time.” – Steven
“My favorite leisure time activities are reading, charity, apharesis (sic), cooking.” – Phil
“I taught myself how to get around the cable company. They charge too much. My next thing will be free internet. Then tell people how I did it.” – Jerry
“I have family/faith related tattoos. Therefore, I enjoy reading articles about tattoos and designing tattoos that I would one day like to get.” – Randy
“I don not like liars, drunks, and hos.” - Thomas
“I would never part with my bible, few other books, fire starter, knife, rod and reel, good boots, and a real good set of camo gear.” – Luther
“I enjoy playing with my black and white toy poodle – Gidget.” - Curtis
“I wish to be a genie.” – Allen
“My ideal Saturday night. You come over. We give each other head till you scream.” – Guy
“I feel most at home tied up and blindfolded.’ – Michael
“I do not like witchcraft, liver, clams. I would not eat a catfish, except to avoid starvation.” – Dave
“I am looking for someone honets (sic).” – Jimmy
“I’m passionate about chickens. Chickens are beautiful, majestic creatures.” – Walter
“I laugh listening to my dog Bebe talk to me. He real funny.” - Robert
“I get up early have me devotions and check FB and checkout the world with emphasis on volcanic eruptions, tidal waves, and earthquakes. After that I prepare breakfast.” – Darrel
“I pride myself on being the best smelling guy in the room at all times.” - Stanley
“I enjoy waking up and having coffee on the miranda.” – Roger
“I don’t like beef liver, no matter how many onions are covering it. I do not like TV ads with fine print disclosure at the bottom which disappear before you have time to read them. Oh yeah, I pretty much hate licorice, too.” – Barry
“I used to like wine with the evening, but my son recently found Jesus and made me promise not to drink. I don’t care if my new partner or dog drinks heavily.” - Edward
“No B.S. Not looking for life partner, love of my life, hookup sex, relation, nothing interment to be honest I am married love my wife. I am looking for someone who likes to ride bikes.” – Wild Bill
— opelikakat
I realize this was supposed to be fiction, but there's no way I could match these responses. - opelikakat
ReplyDeleteSo these are real? Wow.
ReplyDeleteThese are real, and yes WOW!
ReplyDeleteThey read real. I was stunned for awhile wondering how you could articulate all of those strange voices.
ReplyDeleteOMG, did you have to register on some awful website to get access to these?! Or are they just OUT THERE for the public to enjoy and mock, ponder, worry about?! HAHA. Great idea! Each one could make a story! ---Macoff
ReplyDeleteThese gentlemen were all on Match.com and while I didn't get a date, they did provide for a lot of good writing material. I will say I believe most of them were ernest and were just looking for love.
ReplyDeleteVery unique idea. The genie and the looking for someone who likes to ride bikes were my favorite. Applause!
ReplyDelete