Goodwill

It was time. He knew it. He had been clearing things out for the last six months. He was getting ready to move to a continuity-of-care community. He was not looking forward to it, but at the same time he was not going to let himself deteriorate without help and put a burden on his kids. It was a big move, another end to his independence, to his connection to his sweet life, his family life. His wife, Cinda, had died the previous year, which was devastating. She was the ever-healthy one, the powerhouse, the invincible, and then she had gone without warning, leaving him without his joy, his sweet love. She had smiled right at the end and told him his love was like strawberries to her. She had urged him to thrive in her absence, to give back to the world. She was the best of them, and in her honor, he was trying to live as she had instructed.

He had almost cleaned out the house. It was almost ready to sell, but sitting in the corner was the one thing he found so difficult to get rid of: the backpack. It was not just any backpack, it was a modular transformable wonder that had served him for more than forty years. When you folded in the back and moved out the sides, the backpack transformed into a baby carrier. He had born his daughter and then his son in it. He was sure there was still the remnants of barf, snot, and food leftovers deep in the fabric along with the memories of their childhood.. He remembered the wonderful feeling when the jostling of the walk would finally put them to sleep and they melted into his body like butter, in complete peace and acceptance, their soft sweet weight gave wings to his heart.

Later he used the backpack to take his laptop and books to work and the loved the idea of his work tools absorbing the smells and spirit of the baby carrier. Work was just another way of carrying them he felt, and when they had left home, the backpack came with Cinda on travels and adventures. The joys of finding unexpected pleasures were stored in the backpack along with the work and the children. And now it was time for it to be recycled for other uses. He sat there and cried for a good two hours, got up and drove it to Goodwill. He kissed it as he put it in the bin and hoped it would be of some use to others. He hoped that he would be too.

— DanielSouthGate