Throw Away the Key

Marjorie and Lenette skipped together holding hands and giggling as they headed away from the Bonnie Castle Restaurant, Louisville’s renowned burger joint, towards the rented house. Red vinyl stools and booths, juke boxes at every table blasted Elvis, it was the perfect 50’s diner. Their mother, Alice, liked to treat the girls whenever she could afford to, which wasn’t often. The three of them would sit together on the stools because the girls loved to spin around while they ate their hamburgers and drank chocolate phosphates. They would pause” the spin” just long enough to glance through the plate glass window as the view of their adopted city whirred by. They liked this place, their new Kentucky home.

“Stay together and don’t get too far ahead of me, girls,“ Alice cautioned as they turned the corner. She was lagging slightly behind, enjoying a few moments of rare peace and quiet in the safety of this Highland neighborhood, so different than the dangerous Chicago streets left behind.

As Alice leisurely made her way around the bend, she saw her daughters standing still by the side of a blue Oldsmobile with its passenger door open and a man’s head visible. The girls were frozen in place. They had been taught to never get too close to a car or a stranger and they always followed directions.

The man was oblivious to the fact that Alice was running toward him with the speed of a mama bear. By the time he noticed her, it was too late for him to slide completely into the driver’s seat, but he tried anyway, attempting to turn the key left in the ignition and escape.

No stranger to perverts, Alice started screaming. “Oh no, you don’t you S.O.B.” She whacked him on the head with her handbag, which contained everything needed in the event of a tornado. Then she leaned in through the window, grabbed the key out of the ignition and locked the door, standing over him like a sentry.

Hearing the commotion, a few neighbor women came out to help. One stood by the passenger door and locked it too. “Call the police,” Alice commanded, and another woman went inside to dial up assistance.

“Girls, girls,” their mother yelled, snapping them out of their shock. “Go sit on that porch over there.”

Within minutes two Louisville policemen arrived. Nobody ever wanted to be caught near children in public with their pants unzipped while Louisville police were present. One cop dragged the man into the squad car by his hair, trousers rumpled over his hips. The other wrote down the witnesses’ recollections, though he could already hear the judge ruling, “Guilty as charged.”

Fortunately, one of the neighbors had also observed the scene and had called for help ahead of Alice’s pleas. She was able to verify Alice’s testimony. That meant the girls would not have to appear in court. A "lock-up and-throw- the-key-away" case for sure.

“Please, “his wife pleaded outside the police station. “He’s a good father. I’m a nurse. I’ll see he gets help. I promise. Please, don’t press charges.”

Her lawyer was more aggressive. “We will charge YOU with assault and possibly attempted auto theft. Afterall, you took his key. Assuredly, the children will have to testify. You’ll also need an attorney.”

A week later, the pervert was circling their block. “Maybe we'll live near a Bonnie Castle in Chicago,” Marjorie said hopefully, as the moving truck pulled away.

— Mugsy