the Assumption

Dane was working as a contract night janitor at the local Social Security Office. It was one of two jobs he did to make ends meet while he wrote plays during the day. He never made any money on the plays, but that was not the point to him. He was hoping to have his first script produced by a local theatre group at the end of the fall. Meanwhile, he had to make enough money to pay rent on his studio.

Dane had the whole building to himself while he was cleaning and no distractions other than the buzz of the fluorescent lights to interrupt his thoughts. His thoughts were interrupted tonight by a letter addressed to the Janitor on one of the desks he was dusting. It read:

Dear Janitor:

Last night my acrylic butterfly disappeared from my desk, and it is very precious to me. I am a Christian, and it represents the resurrection. It brings me a great deal of joy on long days. I know you probably assume this is silly but to me it is not. Please return it and I will not report this incident to your supervisor.

Yours in Christ

Martha

Dane flushed with rage as he read the note. Rage at the assumptions made and the Christianity misconstrued. He looked around and saw the acrylic butterfly in the metal connector between the seat and the back of the chair. He sighed and left it there.

He wrote two notes to Martha:

Note One:

Dear Martha: Thank you for your note. From reading it, I have come to the assumption that you consider me a petty thief. Do you assume that because I am poor enough to take this menial job? I wonder if Jesus would make a similar assumption. I have not touched your acrylic butterfly which I understand is important to you, but I did notice that it is resting in the metal connector of your chair between the seat and the backrest. I am glad for you that it is not lost.

Yours in Common Decency

The Janitor whose name happens to be Dane

Second Note:

Martha: Thank you for your note. I noticed that your acrylic butterfly is resting on the metal connector of your chair between the seat and the backrest. Have a good day.

The Janitor

Dane did not know which of the two notes he would leave for Martha, he still had to mop out both the men's and the women's bathrooms, empty the trash, refill the sanitary napkin containers, and paper towel dispensers, clean the sinks and vacuum the floors.

And the truth is, Dane was still a little flushed by Martha’s note. He could afford to let some time pass before he decided which note to leave and which one to write into some future play.

— DanielSouthGate