The EX
Bumped into the ex-spouse or ex-boyfriend/girlfriend
“I can’t do it. My feet hurt. My ankles swell when I’m in California. What if there’s an earthquake. You always have earthquakes there. I have IBSD. It will be a disaster.”
“Mom, we’ll be at the Surf and Sand Hotel. It will be cool and there usually aren’t earthquakes in January.”
“How do you know about earthquakes? Are you a meteorologist or a geologist? You don’t know. You’re just making it up. What about my IBSD? Huh? What about that?”
“You’ll have your own bathroom and there are many bathrooms in the hotel. It will be fine. I’ll make sure you’re comfortable.”
“I can’t stay in the same hotel as that son of a bitch. Not gonna happen.”
“Okay. How about a different hotel. There’s a very nice one across the street.”
“I still have to see the bastard and his fifth wife at the wedding. Besides, what would I wear? Too damn complicated.”
“It’s your granddaughter’s wedding, for heaven’s sake! Are you really going to let him deprive you of seeing her married?”
“I’ll send a gift. She won’t even know I’m there. Too hard. Just too hard. I’m too old to travel now.”
“What about me?”
“What about you? You’ve been married for thirty years. What do you have to do with the price of eggs? It’s her wedding.”
“Really, mom? Maybe I’d like my mother there for support.”
“Nonsense. You’re a grown woman and it’s not about you.”
“Is there anything I can do or say to change your mind? I know she would love to have you here.”
“Like I said, I’ll send a gift. Just too painful to see him again.”
“It’s not about him. You were married for twenty-seven years and divorced for twenty-nine? How can it matter?”
“When Dick was alive, I didn’t care. But Dick is dead now and your father has someone. I don’t. So, it matters.”
“Matters more than you seeing your granddaughter married?”
“I’ve got to go now. Bathroom calling. Talk to you later.”
After the wedding.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t come. It’s my one big regret in my life not to see my granddaughter married. How was the wedding? Did she look beautiful? Was the bastard there?”
“Of course, she was radiant. The wedding was all we had hoped it would be. There was just one thing missing. You.”
— Mugsy
Bumped into the ex-spouse or ex-boyfriend/girlfriend
“I can’t do it. My feet hurt. My ankles swell when I’m in California. What if there’s an earthquake. You always have earthquakes there. I have IBSD. It will be a disaster.”
“Mom, we’ll be at the Surf and Sand Hotel. It will be cool and there usually aren’t earthquakes in January.”
“How do you know about earthquakes? Are you a meteorologist or a geologist? You don’t know. You’re just making it up. What about my IBSD? Huh? What about that?”
“You’ll have your own bathroom and there are many bathrooms in the hotel. It will be fine. I’ll make sure you’re comfortable.”
“I can’t stay in the same hotel as that son of a bitch. Not gonna happen.”
“Okay. How about a different hotel. There’s a very nice one across the street.”
“I still have to see the bastard and his fifth wife at the wedding. Besides, what would I wear? Too damn complicated.”
“It’s your granddaughter’s wedding, for heaven’s sake! Are you really going to let him deprive you of seeing her married?”
“I’ll send a gift. She won’t even know I’m there. Too hard. Just too hard. I’m too old to travel now.”
“What about me?”
“What about you? You’ve been married for thirty years. What do you have to do with the price of eggs? It’s her wedding.”
“Really, mom? Maybe I’d like my mother there for support.”
“Nonsense. You’re a grown woman and it’s not about you.”
“Is there anything I can do or say to change your mind? I know she would love to have you here.”
“Like I said, I’ll send a gift. Just too painful to see him again.”
“It’s not about him. You were married for twenty-seven years and divorced for twenty-nine? How can it matter?”
“When Dick was alive, I didn’t care. But Dick is dead now and your father has someone. I don’t. So, it matters.”
“Matters more than you seeing your granddaughter married?”
“I’ve got to go now. Bathroom calling. Talk to you later.”
After the wedding.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t come. It’s my one big regret in my life not to see my granddaughter married. How was the wedding? Did she look beautiful? Was the bastard there?”
“Of course, she was radiant. The wedding was all we had hoped it would be. There was just one thing missing. You.”
— Mugsy
"My ankles swell when I’m in California." HA... love it! This is a very lively exchange. I love the aftermath part wherein the grandmother regrets not doing something she clearly refused to do. So human! ---Macoff
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